


i'm your lady, and you are my man

by anonymous_mystery95



Category: The Flash (TV 2014), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, an angsty valentine's day fic, it does have a happy ending so...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 11:52:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17766290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymous_mystery95/pseuds/anonymous_mystery95
Summary: When Cisco asks Caitlin for help in planning the perfect Valentine's day date for a mystery woman, she bites back the tears and her feelings to help him. All the while hoping it would be her he asks, that he takes, that he loves.But life would never be that kind to her.Would it?





	i'm your lady, and you are my man

Valentine’s Day this year was unseasonably warm, and yet, Caitlin feels cold. Cold and alone and the feeling claws at her heart, its icy tendrils unfurling in her chest, touching every part of her. The others hadn’t realised, Barry and Iris too wrapped up in each other and their plans for the night to even consider that her words may be a touch too sharp, her smile stretched a little too wide to be natural, her eyes dull and laugh fragile. Sherloque seems to notice, but is quickly distracted by the cubes sent by his ex-wives to follow up on his line of inquiry. And Cisco,

Cisco.

Her gaze flickers to him, lingers as she watches him thrum in excitement and expectation, the man bouncing in his seat, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear as he works on tracking the satellites, seeing if they could find a new lead. Her smile softens into something more genuine, sadness in the curl of her lips, a sigh leaving her at the sight of him, full of life and warmth. A few more hours until the end of the day, until his date with the mystery girl that had captured his heart with an ease Caitlin could only envy, a want for him she could only ever dream he’d reciprocate.

But he wouldn’t, she knows that to be true, and it cripples her heart.

It had started weeks ago, a nervous Cisco coming to her at the end of work. It takes a night out and some ice cream before he ended up spilling his thoughts to her, the pair pausing in the park, Cisco staring at the shimmer of moonlight on the still waters of the lake. Because there was this woman, this amazing, incredible woman who was perfection itself, formed with stars in her eyes and love and kindness in her heart, whose laughter was more precious than diamonds, whose smile was everything he needs in his life.

And Caitlin can’t tear her gaze away from him as he speaks, even as a lump gown in her throat. Because his eyes are alight with fire and passion, his smile soft and delicate. And all she wished was for him to speak of her that way, for him to look like that when he thought of her, when he saw her. But she was too late to an event she had no invitation for, not when she never had the chance to own his heart.

He turns to her then, and she smiles in response, weak and watery, but how could she not? Not when the despondency she was feeling would show so evidently to him, not when she knows he’s smile would fall, that he’d be quiet and concerned and ask about her feelings and why she felt this way.

And she couldn’t risk that, not when she could feel the words bubble up from inside her soul, ready to pour out at the slightest indication from Cisco that he wanted the truth. The consequences of that, of revealing the truth to him, were so terrifyingly large, that she shouldn’t risk it, even if it would give her the world. Because to have him reject her, for Caitlin to hear those stiff, awkward words tumble out of his mouth, of how he loved her, but not like  _that_ , of how she was his best friend, only his best friend,  _just_ his best friend… she would crack and the shards would never be able to be put back together. Because he was her everything, and she couldn’t confess, not when it would sabotage their friendship, an added layer between them that she couldn’t handle. Cisco would never intentionally hurt her, but subconsciously he wouldn’t be as close or as open, he wouldn’t touch her as much, or hold her – and she couldn’t lose that, couldn’t lose any part of it.

So she smiles, and he believes her.

Cisco takes her hand in between his, warmth encasing her cold fingertips, and she feels it throughout his body, Caitlin relishing in the touch, craving more of it. She always does when it comes to him.

And she clings to the feeling his touch gives her, grasps it tightly and doesn’t let go, not when he takes a deep breath and confesses he wants to ask the mystery girl out on Valentine’s Day, wanted her for more than just the night, wanted her for the rest of his life if she’d let him.

She hadn’t expected the news to hurt as much as it did. She should have, the pain something she had become familiar with, each new girl Cisco dated another reminder that he would never see her in such a fashion, that she should move on and let him go.

But every hero had their one weakness,

and hers was him.

It aches,

oh, how it  _aches_.

She wants to let go, to clutch at her heart, to let the tears that are burning her eyes fall. Because he was so in love with this woman, more than she had ever seen before, she can see it radiating from him, hear it infused in every word he speaks.

But she can’t, can’t let go of his hand, can’t let go of her fear that speaking those words would destroy everything. And so when he asks, when he pleads, rambling on in a circular manner until he hits the very heart of what he wanted – for her to help plan the most perfect first date on Valentine’s Day – she can heart her heart fall and shatter at the dark, murky depths of her soul, an emptiness where it should still be beating, life draining from her. But she bites it all down and smiles at him.

 

* * *

 

She says yes.

 

* * *

 

They have a fortnight to prepare the perfect date for him, Cisco asking her about her own dream date with a fantasy man, anxious and full of nerves, a pen in his hand as he seeks every detail, determined for it to be the perfect date.

It is difficult to avoid, Caitlin telling him that the perfect date should be tailored to the woman in question, and to himself. But he looks at her with large, brown eyes, voice pleading as he seeks some type of guidance. Because this was more than a first date, it was special, and if she could just tell him what she thought was special, he may have a better idea of what his girl would like.

And so she nods, Caitlin closing her eyes, losing herself in the fantasies she’s been building for a year. Her voice feels raw with vulnerability as she tells him about fancy dinner at the new Italian restaurant, but not dessert. How she would drink wine and he would steal sips and she would steal kisses. She tells him about how she would love to have a small picnic underneath the starlight at the park they frequented, how they would just sit in comfortable silence, watching the stars and moon in the sky, how he’d have to choose triple chocolate fudge because she’d taste it on his tongue, how he’d be able to taste her strawberry, how she’d want to melt against him as easily as the ice cream they’d just consumed, how she would like to lie down on the picnic rug beside him and stare at the sky and each other, confessing all their secret dreams and hidden fears, fingers interlaced as they confided in each other.

(she doesn’t tell him that it has to be that park, because that is  _their_  park, and ice cream is  _their_ thing, and her fantasy date is only there because it’s him, her fantasy date has to come with the perfect fantasy boyfriend and that could only ever be him).

It is only then, once she had told him how she wanted to walk home hand in hand with him, how she’d never want the night to end, that she opens her eyes, her smile wavering as she takes him in.

He’s watching her unblinking, pen hovering over the paper, his eyes black and intense and she feels herself getting lost in them, in him. It feels as though she has handed him her heart, beating and raw, and she waits expectantly, fearfully, for an answer.  And air? What could that possibly mean, what could it to when he was watching her the way he was?

“Cait –“ he starts, voice hoarse, hand reaching out to her. And she backs away, a feeble excuse on her tongue as she slips out of his lab and into the safety of the bathroom, door firmly locked behind her. It is only then can she let oxygen back into her lungs, a shaky inhale and exhale as she braces herself against the wall, Caitlin reminding herself that her fantasies were not his own, that his mystery girl wasn’t her. That she shouldn’t let herself hope when she had tried that so many times before.

It is a few minutes before she feels safe to leave the confines of the bathroom - not safe enough to rejoin Cisco in his lab. He’d see through her façade, especially with it so poorly in place. It takes a few hours for that to happen and, even then, they are so distracted by the new metahuman attacking the city to even focus on matters of the heart.

The next day they are back to usual, Cisco asking her whether flowers or chocolate would be preferable, whether he should go for something simple or lavish. She answers each question robotically, hoping he wouldn’t hear a quiver in her voice, a longing she couldn’t mask. And he is so blind to her pain, but she keeps it locked up, glimpses only showing when he wasn’t near her.

She is tortured by stories of his mystery woman, Cisco lighting up as he showers her in compliments, transported to another world as he lists all her wonderful qualities. And it has Caitlin trying to swallow down her jealousy. Because the woman was incredible and incredible was exactly what Cisco deserved.

If only it could be her.

It’s only made worse by his constant questioning of her own love life, her words from days before triggering something inside him. They must, because it is continuous, Cisco inquiring about whether she had plans, any man in her life that she was going to spend the night with. And the words are like acid on her tongue, burning her insides, even as they come out sweetly, soft laughter and a gentle shake of her head as she tells him the only plans she has that night are a threesome with Ryan Renalds and Sandra Bullock.

It brings a flicker of a frown on his face, and she remembers belatedly that of course he knows her go-to movie when she’s distraught. But, thankfully, they are interrupted before he could press her on the issue, Caitlin tempted to kiss Ralph for waltzing in as he did, completely oblivious to the tension in the room.

 

* * *

 

The day draws closer and her heart feels heavier, Cisco singing to himself in his labs while he tinkers away on his machines, unaware of how she watches him from the other side of the glass, the shattered remnants of her heart by his feet. Because they had finished planning, Cisco made reservations and ordered flowers. And she no longer had an excuse to neglect her work and focus on him, no excuse to linger in his labs, to stand close to him as she showed him how he should style his hair, to hold his hands as she taught him basic classical dancing moves, in case he were to decide that an intimate dance underneath the moonlight were the right thing to do.

And she’s weak for resting her forehead against his shoulder as they sway together, weak for imagining it could be them, that it could be more than a lesson, but instead her reality.

The dream is shattered when the song on his phone ends, Cisco clearing his throat before releasing her hands, wiping his own against the rough material of denim over his thighs. It leaves her disorientated, Caitlin needing a minute before smiling at him, commending him on how easily he picked up the moves before she rushes out of the lab, collapsing against her seat as she deals with the very real possibility that, in a few days, Cisco would have a girlfriend. A girlfriend who she would have to meet, have to pretend to love, who he would take dancing and to dinner and spend the rest of his life with.

A girlfriend who wouldn’t be her.

 

* * *

 

When the day finally arrives she wonders how suspicious it would be if she calls in sick.

She doesn’t, of course. Not when her best friends are a speedster, a skilled journalist, and Cisco. Between the three of them Iris would be the first to catch-on to the lie and, with Barry who can and would cross hundreds of miles in a moment for all of them, and doesn’t realise how a  _door_  works, she’d be busted before breakfast. Which would mean explaining to them what was wrong. And she couldn’t do that. And if not them than Cisco would press for answers, pouting as she refused, worried eyes and concerned tone as he seeks to find out why she lied about being sick.

He’d cancel his date for her, that she has no doubt of. He’d take care of her and make sure she feels okay even if she wouldn’t tell him the reasons and she couldn’t demand that of him, not when he was so excited and happy to finally go out with the mystery girl.

So she comes into work, bone weary even after sleeping for a full eight hours, her mind sluggish and her heart cold. She distracts herself with work and coffee, losing herself in research and seeking answers that she wasn’t sure she could find.

Barry and Iris leave first, too excited to waste time when crime was so low in the city. Apparently criminals also fall in love. Next Ralph and, surprisingly, Sherloque, the older man rolling his eyes in fond exasperation as the younger one drags him along on his date to surreptitiously watch and advice.

And it leaves just the two of them in STAR Labs.

Cisco leaves his lab the moment they are alone, rolling on a chair to the spot beside her, beaming in joy. It is difficult not to reciprocate, even as it reminds her of everything she is missing out on. “So,” she starts, clearing her throat before continuing, “are you ready for your big date?”

She elbows him in the side, genuine laughter as he yelps in response, a pout on his face as he turns to her betrayed. “Rude.”

“Cisco.” She gives him a look, cracking as he maintains the sad expression on his face, grinning at him until he too gives way.

“I am,” he admits, almost shyly. He ducks his head and she can feel his love in the air, so strong that it was radiating off of him. And she knows she’s lost him, lost any chance of him ever moving on from this mystery woman. She’s lost the chance to be with him and god, the realisation hurts her, squeezes her heart until she isn’t sure if it is beating anymore.

“Well, it’s going to go perfectly,” she offers, a smile on her face even though she’s breaking.

“I hope so.” And there he is, with those eyes, so wide and expressive, sucking her in even deeper. And she can’t, she shouldn’t. She  _can’t_.

She does.

“Well it better,” she jokes, “I planned it after all.”

“Yeah,” and his nerves must be getting the better of her, because he seems less excited, more nervous. “Well, I should probably get ready now,” he says eventually.

“You mean you’re not going in your Star Wars shirt?” The deadpan look he gives her is enough for a laugh, a genuine laugh, to leave her, continuing as he turns away without a word.

He leaves her to change, Cisco slipping into his lab where his suit had been stored for the past few days. And she stays behind, fiddling with her fingers. And she reads the same lines over and over again, words blurring into each other as she tries to update her knowledge, developments in the field of biochemistry something she should most definitely be reading up on. But they don’t make sense, nothing makes sense. She shakes her head, rubs her eyes, but her mind won’t focus on anything but the man only a few feet away, getting dressed for his date.

Caitlin thinks she hears her name, but she must imagine it because why would Cisco be calling her? Still, she jumps off her seat and meanders her way to his lab, pausing at the entrance, Caitlin leaning against the door frame, allowing herself a moment of weakness, gaze drifting over him. And she hopes this girl realises how lucky she is because, damn, he looks fine in the crisp white shirt and suspenders. He runs his fingers through his hair before he starts fiddling with his shirt. And it’s strange, Cisco usually so good with his hands, unable to do simple buttons at the corners of his collar. There is an agitation she can only attribute to nervousness, the latter creating and compounding the frustration he feels.

Caitlin is caught, Cisco looking up, accidentally meeting her gaze. But she can’t look away in embarrassment, even as she feels her cheeks heat up.  And she walks up to him, sees his eyes dark and stormy and they are inches apart, her heart racing in her chest.

She does crack first, focussed intensely on the neck buttons that were left untied, lithe fingers making quick work of the tricky buttons, her hands dropping down to his chest to smoothen the shirt which had gotten crinkled in his attempts to do the button on his own. And it is nice to be so close to him, even if it is friendly and innocent. It is too nice; she can’t bring herself to back away. So she lifts her gaze, eyes tracing the outline of his face, fingers running through his locks, neatening it up for him, tucking the stray lock of hair behind his ear before smiling to herself.

It is then that Caitlin realises that Cisco hadn’t said a word, hadn’t moved an inch. And she shouldn’t, knows she shouldn’t, but she does, gaze flickering to his own. It steals her breath, the intensity of his gaze, and she can’t find it again, can’t even think when he looks at her like that, not when they are so close and he looks so fine and she is so ready to let the words tumble from her lips. She had been holding them back for over a year, and to confess when he was hours away from a date with another woman, and was  _excited_  about the date,

it would be cruel.

And so she backs away from him, pink tinging her cheeks as she smiles at him, a fragile smile which she knows could fall and shatter in a moment. “Well, you look perfect,” she offers and she wills him not to ask anything, not when she is close to confessing everything. “Just don’t forget your jacket.”

For a moment he looks like he will, brows knitting together before Cisco opens his mouth. Only to be interrupted by his phone. She thinks he swears in Spanish, Cisco breaking eye contact to pick up the offending object, sighing before he shoves it into his pocket. “I need to pick up the flowers before the store closes,” he explains, almost apologetically. She nods at him. He picks up his jacket, slides his arms through it before adjusting it on his frame. “Don’t spend the night here Cait, go home.” And again, silently, she nods. But it isn’t enough, Cisco taking those few steps towards her, hands on her shoulder, and she can feel it burning against her skin, Caitlin so hyperaware of everything in the moment, his touch, the way his thumb strokes her shoulder absentmindedly, the way each finger presses against her.

“I’m serious Caitlin,  _go home_.”

“I promise Cisco, I’ll shut the computers down and go home.” And he takes a moment, gaze flickering over her face, looking for something she was scared she’d show. But he just nods and lets go, Caitlin craving the contact immediately.

“Alright then, I’m off Cait. Wish me luck!” She offers him two thumbs up, the exuberance of his spirit only seeing to dampen her own, a watery smile on her lips.

“Knock her dead Cisco, she’d be an idiot to not already be in love with you.”

It seems to be the right words to say, his smile widening, Cisco whistling to himself as he exits the labs.

And then she was left alone.

 

* * *

 

 

Caitlin doesn’t mean to curl up in on herself and cry, was so sure she’d be able to control the stinging of her eyes, the tell-tale signs of her tears. She had told herself that she simply needed to lie down for a moment, weariness settling into her bones, her body, her mind, her heart all exhausted from the emotional turmoil she was going through. It was only supposed to be a moment, a moment to collect herself, to find all the emotions that had scattered from her control, to quell them and lock them down. She needed the strength before she would go home and indulge herself on some ice cream and her favourite cheesy rom-com.

And her med-bay was so temptingly close, the rest of the lab empty. The bed calls to her and she can’t help but answer, her legs walking there without Caitlin even realising she had moved, the woman toeing off her shoes before sliding onto the bed.

She just needs a moment of rest, but once a single tear escapes her, it becomes a waterfall, pouring from her soul. And her body is wracked with emotion, shaking as she is overcome with emotion. Her sobs are ugly and messy, the sound echoing on the walls of her lab, filling her ears.

It hurts, everything hurts. And it is harsh, the ragged breaths she takes, trying to fill her lungs up with oxygen, the effort needed simply to inhale. It is like a vice on her heart, her lungs, pain emanating from her chest. She feels weak, shaky hands wiping away her tears. But they keep on falling, an untapped water flow.

It had never been like this,  _she_  had never been like this. But then, Cisco had never been so in love with the woman before. Sure, he loved Cynthia, but that had been so early in Caitlin’s own feelings she hadn’t felt the devastation of now.

And she thinks maybe it is necessary, therapeutic for her to let all her emotions out now instead of bottling it all up as she had done for the past fortnight, allows her to hopefully have better control tomorrow. Because she knows that Cisco would come into work beaming, knows that he would want to tell her everything about the date, the perfect woman, the perfect night.

Because she was his best friend, and she was so happy for him, so damn happy. Even as it tears her up inside.

Eventually the tears die, but the pain flourishes. She isn’t sure how long she lies there, how long her mind tortures her with visions of Cisco and his girlfriend, the pair laughing over a joke Cisco made, strolling down  the pathway hand in hand, Cisco dropping her off at her apartment late at night, but the pain doesn’t dull.

Caitlin is sure she’s going crazy with the thoughts playing in her mind, so sure she could hear Cisco’s voice in the labs. “Caitlin!” And she can hear heavy footsteps echoing on the floor, becoming louder as they approached her.

And oh, she thinks, not her imagination. It is Cisco.

He pulls her up into a sitting position, gaze frantic as he checks over her, a forceful hand on her chin holding her in place as she tries to duck her face away from his sight, embarrassment causing her to hide her face.

But he doesn’t let her hide herself, not from him.

And so she is blessed with the vision before her; he had ditched the suit jacket and unbuttoned the first few buttons on his shirt, Caitlin drinking in the sight thirstily, Cisco hardly ever revealing his chest like this. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and god, if she wasn’t so upset she’d be memorising the sight for future reference.

“What are you doing here?” And if the tearstains didn’t tell him what she had been doing, the thickness of her voice would have done so easily.

“You weren’t home,” he says, as though that should be adequate enough. But at her look he continues, hand shifting from her chin to the side of her head, Cisco stroking her hair. “You weren’t home and you weren’t answering your phone, so I hacked the STAR Labs mainframe. You hadn’t left even though you promised you would leave immediately.” There are hints of accusation in his voice, but it is drowned out by the fear that he was only now letting go of. He shrugs lightly, as though it were nothing when he adds, “I thought something happened.” But she’s not blind, Caitlin can see the tightness in his jaw, can see his adam’s apple bob as he forces the words out. And she knows she must have terrified him with that.

It is though just mentioning it triggers the flood of emotions he had experienced, Cisco turning quickly to her, looking over her in earnest once more. And it with trembling hands he feels her forehead and checks her pulse, fear shining in his eyes as he tries to diagnose just why she was so sad and alone. “I’m okay Cisco.”

She attempts to brush him off, but it is to no avail, Cisco looking at her as though she were crazy. And she thinks she must be, because he was here, with her, and she was encouraging him to be with another woman. But he ignores her, still trembling fingers moving to cup her face, his thumb wiping away the tears that still remained on her face.

And she is weak, too weak, Cisco her kryptonite. Because Caitlin leans into his touch, takes strength from his presence. Her eyelids flutter closed as she just breathes in the moment, commits it to memory as she cherishes every second. Even when she knows it will hurt all the more when he eventually leaves her for his date. She thinks he whispers her name, the sound of it so soft and full of love, and it like a balm to soothe her soul, the pain lessening, if only for this moment, only for him.

When her eyes eventually open, vision clearing to focus just on Cisco. And his eyebrows are pinched and he looks so scared for her. Her heart constructs at the sight and she wants nothing more than to smooth the lines of worry from his forehead, wants to make him feel better. “Caitlin, talk to me.” And his hands drop from her face, Cisco taking her own in between his, squeezing it gently as he urges her to open up to him. And she can’t, she shouldn’t.

She won’t.

“It’s nothing that ice cream and a good movie won’t fix.” It is a weak laugh that follows, and she knows it. But it is the best she can muster when the man beside her holds her heart and doesn’t realise it.

It takes all her strength to pull her hands from his own, a gentle push on his shoulder as she tries to encourage him away. “Caitlin.” And he isn’t treating this as lightly as she wanted, concern etched into his face. He looked pained and he doesn’t budge under the pressure from her hands. He stays beside her.

(Is it too much to ask for him to stay beside her forever?)

“I’m sorry Cisco.” And god, she is the worst friend in the world. His face,

she can barely stand to look at it.

So instead she looks down at her hands, fiddles her fingers together, unable to keep still. “Go enjoy your date, I’ll be fine.” And she sounds it, though she may not look it, her voice steady, a slight inflection at the end the only sign she won’t be as fine as she says.

But it doesn’t matter to him, Cisco scoffing at her words. And instead of pulling away he joins her on the bed in the med-bay, pulling her tight against his chest, Caitlin falling against him easily. And there is a gentle kiss pressed against the crown of her head, a deep rumble she can feel as he says “I won’t leave you Cait, not now, not ever. So get that stupid idea out of your head.”

And she doesn’t mean for the words to come tumbling out, so lost in his proximity and touch, the walls she erected eroding with ease.

“But you will Cisco, you will.”

The confession is soft, delicate. It is strong, mighty, destroying any semblance of carefreeness that she was trying to project. Came out small, but the emotions screams at both of them, Caitlin ducking her head, hair falling, making a curtain between them. But her shield disappears easily, Cisco’s touch light and gentle as he tucks the hair behind her ear, moves the excess over her shoulder. His guidance is tender as he tilts her head back up, turning it toward him.

“What?” He sounds so confused, so hurt by her words. And she regrets it, but she can’t avoid it, can’t lie to him. She never had been able to before.

“You want a wife and family Cisco. You’ve already told me once that you don’t want your powers or STAR Lab. You don’t want me.” And her eyes plead for him to be done with the conversation, but he doesn’t drop it, Cisco shaking his head in disbelief.

“Caitlin that’s insane.”

“It’s not. I mean, you’re already in love with her,” and she can feel the tears re-emerge, pricking at her eyelids, threatening to fall again. “And she’s going to fall in love with you, I mean, who wouldn’t. And then you’ll be serious and get married and have children and you’ve already told me that you want out of being Vibe once, so what’s going to stop you from doing that again. Because you’ll have a wife and kids and I get it, but if you –“ She’s rambling, but she’s been holding this in for so long, a dam breaking inside her, Caitlin lost in the overwhelming current of her feelings.

“Not wanting STAR Labs doesn’t mean I don’t want you in my life Cait. You gotta know that.” He lets out a shaky breath, “and that was so long ago.”

“You think that now, but what happens when you get a new job to support your family. And you’re so busy with it and your kids and your wife and you forget about me? You’re so much of my life Cisco, I don’t know how I’d cope if you weren’t there.”

“You did,” and if she was sharing her insecurities he was also sharing his. “You left when Killer Frost emerged, you got your own life and job and you cut me out completely Cait. Do you know how difficult it was, losing you and Barry together. But Barry didn’t really get a choice – you just left. You left  _me_.”

He sniffs and his eyes shine and god, how did this even happen?

“I almost killed you Cisco! I could barely look at you without feeling guilty.” It is a sharp exclamation, Caitlin desperate for him to understand just how vital he was in her life. She softens, the memories of him coming to her at the bar bringing a gentle smile to her lips. “And life without you, it was awful.”

When he gets up from beside her, her heart gets stuck in her throat, Caitlin almost reaching out for him. But she doesn’t, instead watching him through her lashes.

He kneels before her, takes her hand in his. And she knows she is lost, lost in his gaze, lost in the moment. “Caitlin, please.” And his voice is so hoarse, its roughness rubbing against her, Caitlin shuddering in response. “Please tell me where this is coming from. I can’t help you if I don’t know.”

“I love you.”

They slip out so easily, as though they belonged out in the open, where he could hear it. His breath stutters and he looks up at her in disbelief, eyes wide and shining, jaw hanging open. It is true what they say, that the truth does set one free, because her heart soars with the words. “I love you so much Cisco and helping you plan the perfect date for another woman, seeing you so excited about it, it hurt. It hurt so much knowing it was for someone else, that you could never feel the same for me.” Her voice trembles but she pushes on. “I mean, after Cynthia and Kamilla and the cute engineer from Mercury Labs, why would you settle for me?”

He continues to look at her gob-smacked. And he has lost his voice, Cisco simply watching her silently. And she can feel it, each fragment of her heart fall for every second his silence drags on.

“You – you love me?” His voice cracks at the words, Cisco blinking over and over, as if she would disappear if he closed and opened his eyes. “Do you mean you love me like a friend or you’re in love with me. Because there’s a big distinction between the two and I really need to know.” There is an urgency in his voice but she misses it completely, Caitlin so lost in her own emotional turmoil to catch it.

She also misses how his eyes dim when she slides her hands out of his own, Caitlin tilting her head up as she wipes away a few stray tears. “Everything Cisco, all of it. I love you, I’m in love with you.” A wet laugh leaves her and she can’t meet his eyes. “You’re everything to me, you’re it.”

The shock on Cisco’s face takes her aback and her heart sinks at the sight, a feeling of regret gnawing at her soul.

“I should go.”

And he closes his eyes momentarily, determination flaring in them when he opens them back up, jaw set. “Caitlin Snow, will you please be my Valentine?”

The words cause her to freeze, heart sinking and soaring simultaneously. Because he had spoken the words she had dreamt of for so long, but he doesn’t mean it, doesn’t want her. Not like she wanted, not like she wants him. “You don’t have to do this Cisco, your girl is waiting for you, you shouldn’t be blowing her off like that.”

He huffs, “Cait, I’m serious.”

And she looks down at him, Cisco still on his knees before her, looking up with a sincerity he couldn’t mean.

“I didn’t think you’d tease me like this Cisco. I never thought you’d be that cruel.” It is all she can manage to stutter out before she can’t bear to be in the same room as Cisco any longer. She storms out of the room, the stray tears now becoming more constant, Caitlin wiping them away, a noise of annoyance leaving her as she wipes away fresh tears.

But then she stops,

and she can barely breathe.

Because there, on her desk in the main laboratory, is the most beautiful red dress, flung over it haphazardly, a bouquet of flowers just dropped on the floor. It is a miracle she can move, feet walking to the gifts, knees bending as she picks up the flowers, white roses, she notes, her favourite. There is a note attached to it and she reads it,

and subsequently drops them to the floor, a gasp leaving her mouth, hands lifted up to stifle the sound. Because the note, it was addressed to her. And it is shaky fingers which pick up the dress, so beautiful and stunning and definitely her size. It is though it were designed only for her, so specific to her tastes, to her body.

It drops back on the table and Caitlin is left standing there in the middle of the floor, her mind struggling to compute with this new information. And she feels strong hands settling on her hips, Cisco tugging her close to him. She melts immediately into his embrace, Cisco bending his head, nuzzling into her neck.

And god, it feels amazing.

He spins her around, the worried look on his face melting into a more hopeful one. “I hope you know I’d never tease you about that Cait.” There is an earnestness in his voice, a desperation for her to know it was the truth.

And she feels so lost, like she is lost at sea and drowning in the possibilities that she never thought she’d get swept away in.

“But – but,” and she’s stuttering, but she never thought it could happen, never prepared herself for the chance. “But your girl, she was perfect and I’m – me.” There is a brokenness in her voice, a story of lost love, of tortured love, of a life that one person should not have endure. And Cisco cannot stand it, he never could, not even as he stood in the sidelines, only able to hold her as she fell apart, praying that he could help her.

He leans his forehead against her own, the pair soaking in the moment together. “You are perfect Cait, to me.” He takes a deep inhale, a vulnerability in his voice as he confesses, “you’re it for me too. I can’t imagine a life where you’re not in it. I need you by my side, always Cait.”

“But it doesn’t make any sense. Why did you get me to help with the date? And why did you wait until now to ask?” She stumbles through her questions, heart struggling to catch up to what her mind understood.

He shrugs his shoulders. “I figured the best person to help plan the perfect date was the girl I wanted to ask.”

She smiles, finally smiles, Cisco finally convincing her that it was real, it was happening. And he nudges her nose with his own, eliciting a laugh from Caitlin, Cisco grinning toothily in response, the smile softening as he gazes down at her, Caitlin unable to tear her eyes away from him.

There is a shift on his expression, Cisco suddenly more serious and it worries her. “I’m in love with you too Caitlin, in case you haven’t figured yet. I have been since I first saw you with Hartley and you were able to take him down so sweetly and then be so nice to me in the very same breath. But you were with Ronnie, and then Jay and Julian happened and I – I never thought you’d ever consider me.”

His words take her aback, Caitlin wrapping her arms around his neck, a gentle smile on her face. There is a look of awe in his eyes as she leans in closer, hesitating for a moment before closing the distance. And the moment they connect she melts, Caitlin leaning into Cisco’s frame, raising herself on her toes to be more comfortable. His hands on her hips flex instinctively and she wants more, more of the kiss, more of Cisco, more moments where they can spend together, wrapped up in each other’s embrace. She pulls him down as she moves to rest surefooted on the ground, her lips pressed more firmly against his own as she tries to soak in everything, the way his nose presses against her cheek, the feel of his hair between her fingers as she cradles the back of his head, the electricity that shoots through her when Cisco finds a sliver of skin between her blouse and pencil skirt, his thumb sliding underneath it, the calloused digit rubbing circles against her bare skin.

He pulls away first, Caitlin chasing his mouth, sighing as they reconnect, Cisco grinning against her lips, a strangled groan leaving him as she licks at the seam of his lips, Caitlin deepening the kiss immediately. And she’s known him for so long, so intimately, and it translates easily into the kiss, the pair quickly learning everything about the other, easily drawing out soft moans and quiet whines as they learn the other’s body as intimately as they know their own.

Eventually they do break away, shallow gasps of air as they try and steady themselves and their heartbeats. “That was everything I thought it would be – it was more.” Cisco sighs, “I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.”

Caitlin beams at his words, almost glowing. “Can you believe we could have been doing this for months if we weren’t so scared to say anything?” She laughs the words and her eyes twinkle at the thought.

His gaze darts over her face, as if trying to memorise the way she looks at him. And she wants to blush at the awe on his own, but it dims. “You sure you’re okay with this?” He sounds a little scared.

“Cisco,” she laughs, a quick kiss against the tip of his nose. “I have been dreaming about this moment for so long. I’m more than okay.”

And his thumb sweeps underneath her eyes, traces the line from the corner of her eye and down her cheeks. She knows he is following the trail of tears that stained her face, his expression becoming more sombre as he takes it in, the silvery line a reminder that she had been crying twenty minutes ago.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realise it was hurting you. I swear if I knew I would have asked you out at the beginning instead of all of this.”

“Cisco please, you didn’t know because I didn’t want you to know. I’ve spent ages mastering the art of squashing down feelings, it’s not your fault.” Caitlin pauses, crinkling her nose at a thought before shrugging. “Well it is, but that’s only because you’re so irresistible.”

She accomplishes the task she set out to do, a hearty chuckle leaving Cisco at her words, a smug grin on his face as he lingers in the compliment. And she wishes she could live in this moment forever, his hands a nice weight on her hips as it drops back to where it was resting before, her arms around his neck. They are so close, so intimate, and it feels as though she has finally come home, the feeling of security around her. It is though she is cocooned in love and she wouldn’t have had it happen any other way.

Her finger twirls a lock of his hair, Caitlin smiling, the struggles of the past fortnight nothing compared to the complete euphoria of the past few minutes. And she drops her hand, one anchoring on his shoulder as her right slides down, stopping over his heart, Caitlin relishing in the steady thump beneath her palm. But then Cisco speaks. “We should get going.”

“Hmm,” she responds, still distracted by her thoughts, “yeah we should. My apartment is closer than yours and it’s still too far away. ” It is his laugh that brings her back to this universe, Caitlin refusing to be embarrassed, even as her cheeks darken.

“I meant to the dinner baby, I still have those reservations.”

She stops, head cocked as she scrutinises his face. “I never found out how you got reservations there, and on Valentine’s Day too. It’s been booked out for months.”

The grin that lights his face makes her fall in love with him all over again, Cisco subconsciously swaying them side to side. “I made that booking in November Cait. I always knew you were the one I wanted to ask and that you really wanted to go there.” But then he moves to let go of her, and she can’t have that, not yet. Her grip on him tightens, almost instinctively, and Cisco’s smile shifts into something smug. “Come on Caitlin, we gotta go.”

She pouts at the notion, her alternative far more appealing in the moment. “Do we really need to?” And her hand slides up his neck, hand cupping the back of his head as she brings him back down to her, Caitlin lifting herself on her toes to meet him mid-way. And Cisco knows he should be stronger than this, but kissing Caitlin is something that he could never get used to, never resist. And he gives in to the kiss immediately, hand squeezing her hips, Cisco pulling her closer, barely a hairbreadth between their bodies. And he almost gives in to her completely, because it was Caitlin and she was kissing him and he had dreamt about this for years – the idea of delaying it further for something like restaurant reservations seems ridiculous in the moment, especially when his hands slide up her torso, thumb on the underside of her breasts. It causes her to break the kiss, eyes black as she meets his hesitant gaze. “More,” she rasps, her hand dropping to guide his own to the centre of her chest. “Please Cisco.”

“Caitlin,” he whines, and he sounds tortured.

“Okay fine,” she caves. “Give me a moment to change.” And he grins that grin at her, her grin, the one that she could never resist, not even when she didn’t understand the feelings she harboured for him.

But when he goes to reach for the suit jacket he dropped on the floor, she stops, a hand on his shoulder, Caitlin pulling him back up. “If we’re doing this dinner, you’re going like that.”

There is a spark in his eyes, and she knows that he understood what she was trying to hide perfectly. “But I thought I looked better with the jacket.” Cisco’s the cat that caught the canary, smug and proud and god, she loves him.

So she shrugs casually, a sly smile thrown over her shoulder as she walks away, hands pulling her shirt over her head, Caitlin just in her bra and pencil skirt. There is a litany of swearing from behind her, both English and Spanish as she bends to pick up the dress and flowers. “That –“ she finally says, a casualness which flies in the face of the tension that was crackling between them, the atmosphere sparking with it. “That was when I thought you were taking someone else.”

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi to me on [tumblr](https://simone-garnett.tumblr.com) :)


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